too many illnesses

I am a mom of a very sick child.  You wouldn’t know it really, because she hides it pretty well but she is always coming up with some potentially lethal problem or disease.  It’s funny how people you thought cared just turn it into another thing.  Apparently, we are only allowed to have one serious disease our entire life.

Four years ago,  my daughter was diagnosed with a disease I had never heard of and ended up very sick for a very long time.  The disease is incurable and will always plague her life.

Two years ago, she had yet another problem, and she was not able to breathe.  Pretty important thing to be able to do, and once again this problem got so bad that it was quickly becoming life threatening.  We had no cause and no cure.  Luckily, the situation went away (somewhat) and she is healthier for it.

Now, she has a problem with her brain that is requiring surgery.  Brain surgery on my child.  How frightening is that?  Terrifying that’s how frightening.  All the things that can go wrong and all the things that could happen run through my brain.

Apparently, you aren’t allowed to have this many problems that could potentially end your life.  Friends, family and even co-workers respond in the same way.  You’ll get through this, after all, she got through the rest of it.  As if somehow, that makes it all better.  Not the heartfelt caring that we used to get.  Not the love and affection from before.  It’s old news.  Your kid might die.  That sucks.  Move on with my life now.

Yes, before you mention it, I see a pattern, every 2 years.  Every 2 years we get so scared that we might lose our beautiful youngest child that I fear for the future.  Why does it happen to her?  Why is it like that?  I have no answers.

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